


Why Tony Stark hates twitter

by Signe_chan



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-18
Updated: 2012-08-18
Packaged: 2017-11-12 10:02:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/489643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signe_chan/pseuds/Signe_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the kink meme prompt - Bruce/Tony, they get married, then fall in love.</p><p>Bruce and Tony get married in Vegas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why Tony Stark hates twitter

**Author's Note:**

> Because of a SHIELD mission/Protect Bruce from Ross/Misunderstanding with an alien culture that could cause a war if they don't do it/drunken night in Vegas/PR stunt that went really weird/Loki did it... or whatever plot you like, Bruce and Tony have to get married. And while they're both great friends who do Science! together, the truth is that they had never thought about the other in a romantic fashion. But now, they not only have the paper that says that they're married, they have to act married in public -Tony has to take Bruce to his galas, Bruce has a ring that expands so everyone knows that Hulk is married, things like that - and little by little, they fall in love.
> 
> +10 if at one point they have the chance to dissolve the marriage but none of them want to... but is convinced that the other must want to do it.  
> +1000 if the ceremony was officiated by Fury (And it's official even if some people think it's not!)  
> +10000 Hulk is completely happy with Shellhead being his mate, and from day one acts like a protective husband even if Bruce knows it's not 'real'.  
> +All the internets if it's Hulk the one who clues Tony into the fact that Bruce has fallen in love with him and doesn't want to stop being married.

Tony hated twitter, and as soon as he was sober enough to stand upright he was going to buy it and wipe it of the face of the internet. So he and everyone else with the internet had thought it was a great thing and, okay, maybe Pepper had warned him against having a public account linked to his name but he had so much awesome, why not share it around? 

Bruce moaned and Tony made a vague waving motion in his direction. He’d not been this hung over in years. This entire thing could probably be traced back to Natasha in some way. She’d been the one who’d challenged him to a drinking game. Next time she needed some kind of handicap. 

The phone rang again, he threw it on the floor. Bruce made a pitiful moan from the bed next to him and Tony flailed in his direction. He wasn’t going to move to get it now. He’d nearly thrown up when he moved to get it the first time. Lying on his back forever seemed like the best of all the options right now. He was just going to go with that. 

Bruce’s phone started ringing. Bruce was obviously feeling less like a Russian ex-spy had drunk him under the table as he actually sat up, groping for the bedside table and retrieving his phone. 

“Hello,” he said, blinking, and after a few seconds he turned and held the phone to Tony’s ear. It was Pepper again, telling him all the ways he was an absolute idiot and she was going to skin him alive the second he got back. He missed most of the second half as his body decided that Tony wasn’t going to outwit it by lying down, it was going to throw up anyway, and he ruined a very nice rug. 

“What did you do?” Bruce asked. He was still holding the phone gingerly, like he was afraid it might grow a mouth and bite him. Tony was pretty sure he’d never built that feature in to a phone but he wouldn’t guarantee anything. 

“I posted on twitter,” Tony said with a sigh, managing to convince his body to move far enough to retrieve his phone. Bruce just looked confused. He’d never really got with the entire social networking thing. Tony had set up a Facebook profile for him once but he only used it to share amusing cat photos. 

“Here,” Tony said, pulling up his feed and passing it over. He stumbled off to the bathroom, almost falling in the door and sprawling out over the cool tiles. Yes, this was much better. 

“Tony,” Bruce said. “You told the entire world we got married.” 

“Apparently,” Tony agreed. He hadn’t seen the offending post himself yet due to the full scale rebellion in his gut but Pepper on her first call of the morning had been nice enough to inform him of that much. 

“Did we?” Bruce asked. Tony had to think about that one. He didn’t remember much of the evening, to be fair. He did remember something about running down the street yelling “for science” and he had a clear image of Clint grinning in his mind. 

“Don’t know,” he concluded. “See if you can find a certificate?” 

Bruce grunted but he started to move around to Tony presumed he was looking. While he wasn’t being expected to hold a conversation, Tony took the opportunity to peel himself off the floor and drag himself further in to the room. He liked this room. The cold tiles were settling his stomach and as long as he didn’t try anything fancy he could almost think clearly again. 

When he was done destroying twitter, he was going to kill Natasha too. 

“Looks like we did,” Bruce reported, coming closer. Tony didn’t dare look up. “What now?” 

“Now,” Tony said. “Now I recover. Tomorrow we’ll take care of the rest. Don’t worry, it’s not even going to be an issue. 

~*~*~*~

“You can’t get a divorce.” 

At that, Bruce looked about as sick as Tony had felt on the hotel floor. Of course, Tony was recovered now. The spy twins had vanished without a trace leaving himself and Bruce to come home with their heads down in shame. 

“What, why not?” he asked. Pepper gave him a look that would have caused a lesser man to cut of his own balls in penance for asking such a ridiculous question. Luckily, Tony wasn’t a letter man. “No, seriously.” 

“Do you not even read your own press?” Pepper asked with a sigh. “Okay, here’s the deal. The world loves the two of you together?” 

“What do you mean? How can they love us together? We’ve not even done anything together?” 

“That’s half of the problem,” Pepper said with an irritated wave. “You didn’t get a statement out so the papers made up their own stories.” 

“I’ll just sue them.” 

“But they’re saying nice things about you, Tony. For the first time I can remember! They love you. They’ve built up this entire story of a secret romance then someone found that old footage of Hulk catching Iron Man as he fell and suddenly you’re romantic heroes.”

“What the hell,” Tony sighed. He flipped his phone open and pulled up a browser window. She was right, dammit. The world loved them. Even the usual celebrity rags that couldn’t wait to destroy any woman he slept with seemed to love this. All his social feeds were flooded by people saying how proud they were of him. 

He was so screwed. He should have ended his brief but genuine affair with the bathroom floor earlier, though he didn’t know how much use he’d have been in that state. He hadn’t even thought there could be a reaction like this. 

“About every gay rights group in the country has come out in support of you, Tony. Two asked you to be a spokesman, one of them wanted Bruce. Ellen wants you on her show. You can’t buy publicity like this, Tony.” 

“I know,” Tony said with a sigh. “Give us five?” 

Pepper nodded and left the room. He looked over at Bruce. Bruce was, other then Pepper and Jarvis, probably his best friend. He respected the guy and he couldn’t say that about a lot of people. He didn’t particularly want to marry him, though. Hell, he wasn’t gay. Bi-curious maybe and there had been those twins but really how was he meant to turn that down? That meant nothing. 

“There’s going to be an awful lot of people disappointed by this,” Bruce said slowly. He was apparently still googling them. Tony sighed. He knew that tone. It was Bruce’s reasonable tone. The one he used when he was saying the things he thought needed to be said. The right things. 

“I’ve got a message on my Facebook. Well, a lot, but the top one. It’s from this boy, he says he’s always been ashamed to be gay but he’s going to come out at school today because if the Hulk can be gay, so can he.” 

They let that hang for a second. It was clear what they needed to do. Tony couldn’t risk his reputation, neither of them wanted all American against them and, quite beyond their control, this thing had suddenly got a lot bigger then either of them. They couldn’t back out now, Pepper had been right. 

“It’d only be in public...” Bruce said, and Tony found himself nodding. 

“Yeah. It’s not like it’d be forever or anything. Only until all of this blows over. Then we could get a divorce. This is just...it’s just surreal. I think we just became gay role models.” 

“Just what I always wanted,” Bruce replied in his best dry tone and Tony laughed. That was why he liked this guy. 

“Okay. We, we can do this for a little while. Long enough for the press to move on to the next shiny new thing and then we quietly end it?” 

“Okay.” 

~*~*~*~

In typical Tony Stark fashion, their first appearance in public together was a fight. It was only two days after the conversation with Pepper and things had been strained enough that Tony had made the decision to put their public appearance off as long as he could. It was weird as things had always been relatively easy with Bruce before, but now they seemed almost on egg-shells around each other. It had only been too days but he was starting to miss being able to just barge in to Bruce’s lab for an opinion or something, which was ridiculous as, if anything, marriage should have brought them closer. 

Still, while he could do a lot of things he couldn’t delay an attack when the attacker was determined to have it now. So, they went in to battle. Tony had, honestly, been kind of worried. After all, he knew Bruce wasn’t exactly happy about the entire marriage thing. Having Bruce kind of unhappy was bad enough, he did NOT want to make the hulk kind of unhappy. 

As it turned out, he needn’t have bothered. Hulk was distracted for most of the fight, though Tony did look over a couple of times and see if watching him as if he was trying to figure him out. He wasn’t exactly sure he was comfortable with being looked at like that by the hulk so he ignored it in favour of getting on with what he should be doing. 

After, he was the one who found Bruce, who mostly just looked bewildered by the entire experience. Tony picked him out of the rubble and took him home to clean up. Tony hadn’t noticed the photographer but, then again, he’d stopped noticing photographers years ago. It was also pretty typical that the first photos of them together post-marriage would be him hauling his naked husband out of the rubble of a demolished building and flying away with him. After that, Tony decided he was going to have to take this in to his own hands. 

~*~*~*~

“I hate this,” Bruce hissed in his ear. Tony nodded in agreement, though he wasn’t sure if Bruce meant the lying or the gala circuit. Probably both. Tony would agree with him on both counts. Not that he didn’t lie, but lying got so tiring. It was hardly even his fault this time. 

The gala was one of those celebrity-studded things for baby otters or something. Bruce would probably know if anyone asked them. The room was bustling with actors and politicians and Tony had picked it for their first big outing because while he was still pretty big news even in a room like this, he wasn’t the only focus of attention. They could get in, get some nice photos of them smiling, fully clothed and well washed, then go home. 

He hadn’t counted on Bruce. He had, in fact, forgotten that Bruce had probably never seen to an event like this in his life and so wasn’t exactly going to be at his most relaxed and charming. He did a good job pretending, but over their friendship Tony had become something of a expert on Bruce’s tells. The signs that he wasn’t just being charmingly awkward but was really uncomfortable in a situation. 

“Look, we’ll just get some photos and then we’ll go,” he said, raising a hand to touch Bruce’s arm. It was weird. He’d probably have done the same thing two weeks ago before all this, but it seemed to take on an extra meaning now. “But these things, kind of a fact of my life. I’m, well, me, so I can turn up and leave when I want but this isn’t the last time you’re going to have to come to an event like this with me.” 

“I know,” Bruce said, turning towards Tony slightly and that was good. Tony stepped in closer, tried to imagine Bruce was someone he planned to sleep with. How would he stand then, what would he do? He shifted his stance a little. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to them, though.” 

“I think if you’re used to them then there’s something wrong with you,” Tony replied, scanning the crowd. There were some press circling but there were a lot of stars here so they were taking their time. “Besides, it’s for the baby otters.” 

“Seals,” Bruce corrected, and Tony grinned because he knew Bruce would get it right. 

“Baby Seals. They got some of my money, we get some press where you aren’t naked, it’s win-win.” 

“Maybe,” Bruce said, looking around the room again. A few people were looking their way, he wondered who would try for conversation next. He’d already had a few horrible congratulations from people obviously hoping to absorb a little of the good press that seemed to be clinging to him lately. He’d turned up late to avoid too much of that. There were only so many times to could tell the official version of their wedding before he slipped up and started talking about vodka hangovers. “I don’t see why they want to see me, anyway. I’m just a scientist.” 

“Sorry,” Tony said with a shrug. “If it helps, these things are less boring when you know a few people. I’d rather be in the lab too. I’ve been working on some upgrades for the Starkphone.” 

“Oh, really?” Bruce asked, tilting his head just that fraction which told Tony he was interested. “What are you doing with it now?” 

“Well, there are a few hardware things I’m thinking of to make it lighter, but I think what it really needs it a full OS re-write. I mean, the current OS is fine but if i want to introduce real 3D functionality then...” 

He lost himself in talking to Bruce. This was, in fact, why he liked Bruce so much. The Starkphone wasn’t a very interesting piece of technology by their standards. It was, of course, so far ahead of everything else in the market it was unreal but nothing compared to some of the kit he built for Iron Man. The thing was, he could talk about this, or any of his projects, and Bruce would listen. Not just nod along like Pepper did but really listen and absorb and then be able to make useful comments and share ideas. He’d never met someone who could really keep up with him like that before. 

He almost didn’t think about how he was standing. About shifting closer to Bruce to hear what Bruce was saying. About maintaining eye contact because, well, Bruce WAS the most interesting thing in the room so why not give him his full attention. He didn’t notice Bruce’s hand coming to to cup his elbow, turning them away from the room sightly. Didn’t notice any of it at all until a photographer was taping his shoulder and suddenly the world was sliding back to him. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, though she didn’t look sorry. She looked hungry and not too long ago Tony would already be thinking of a way to get her home and in to his bed. “I’m Sophie King, Cosmopolitan. Could I get a photo of you two?” 

“Sure,” Tony said, stepping closer and slipping an arm around Bruce’s waist. Bruce apparently took that as his cue to be awkward. He really wasn’t used to being photographed but Tony could see the photographer’s disappointment. 

“Maybe one of you kissing?” she asked, lowering the camera. Tony shrugged. They’d discussed this, were ready for this, and when he turned he found Bruce already there waiting for him. 

The thing was, to him a kiss didn’t mean an awful lot. He had kissed more people in more ways then he cared to mention and really, kissing Bruce, not so shocking. It was different in ways. Bruce was almost reluctant or, no, not reluctant but careful. As though he wasn’t sure he should be doing this or if he was doing it right. It was familiar. There was no thrill of a first kiss because he knew Bruce, inside and out. It felt normal, almost as if being this close to Bruce was something he always did. 

Then he pulled away, flashed a smile at the photographer and let Bruce out of the hall and back to the lab for some more discussion of implementing the 3D engine on his phones. 

~*~*~*~

The photos of the kiss came out well. As good as any kiss a photographer asked for. The one that Tony found himself saving was the photo he found which someone had obviously snapped when they were in conversation. They looked like nothing else in the room mattered, like they were in love. 

~*~*~*~

“Here,” Tony said, dropping the ring on the table in front of Bruce. “Don’t tell me I’m a genius, I already know.” 

“What is this?” Bruce asked, poking at it with his little finger and he didn’t need to look so doubting.

“Wedding ring,” Tony said, picking it up again and rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger. “Don’t even say anything, I’ve been working on it. It’s expandable so when you turn in to a giant green rage monster it won’t be destroyed.” 

“Thanks, I think,” Bruce replied, though he looked a little insulted. Tony sighed and grabbed his hand, slipping the ring on. If fit perfectly at his smallest size, just as he’d intended. He’d never actually had a chance to measure the hulk’s finger width so he didn’t know that it would expand enough, but it was probably close enough. 

“I have one too,” he said, waving his hand on Bruce’s face. “So we’ll match and the gossip rags can stop running stories about trouble in paradise since we’re not wearing rings. Thinking of, want to get lunch to show these to? We can go to that Italian you liked last time.”

“Sure,” Bruce said with a shrug. 

“Great,” Tony replied. “I just need to run down to the lab before we go.” He headed of without waiting for Bruce’s reply and did a quick sweep of the lab. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jarvis to run things in his absence but there wee a few delicate experiments he may have abandoned mid-thought when the solution to the ring occurred to him. Once he was sure everything was safe he headed back up to the kitchen to find Bruce still sat there, looking at the ring, his expression blank. When he saw Tony he showed his hand in his pocket and stood to go. Tony didn’t mention it. 

~*~*~*~

The ring did what it was meant to but had something of an unexpected side effect. Tony presumed it was the ring anyway. Hulk looked at it, studied it, turned it around his finger, and for a second Tony thought he was either going to throw it on the floor thus rendering all the careful engineering obsolete or be so distracted he would miss the fight. 

Luckily, neither happened. What did happen was the hulk gave Iron Man a long look, then leapt in to the battle and suddenly Tony had a giant green mother-hen on his hands. He barely got any action because the hulk had decided to situate itself firmly between Tony and anything even slightly dangerous. 

When the fight had finished the hulk had even given him an affectionate if bone-crushing hug which made Tony wonder if he’d got the memo from Bruce about this not being real and what, exactly, hulk was going to feel when the divorce happened. 

~*~*~*~

Tony wandered back over to the table, drinks in hand. Bruce was laughing with some tv presenter, which was pretty good to see. The first few functions had been really miserable for Bruce but at least now he was starting to get the hang of who was who and which people you could talk to without whatever you said being all over the gossip blogs within fifteen minutes. 

As he got closer, Bruce looked up at him and smiled. This had gotten easier too, the relationship stuff. Smiling at each other, touching each other. The simple physicality, not even the nastiest rags had seen anything but affection between them. Not that they hadn’t had their moments but both of them were exceptionally good about turning of arguments about the feasibility of a certain methodology or who exactly had left the milk out last night once the cameras came around. 

Thinking of, Tony set the glasses down on the table and lent in to kiss Bruce. This had become easier too. Bruce seemed to have got used to him by now. They kissed easily, like they’d been doing it for years. 

“You two are so cute,” the presenter chimed in, and Tony pulled back. He was almost reluctant to do so. He liked kissing Bruce. It didn’t have to mean anything, he knew that, but Bruce was his friend. Someone who challenged him and stood up to him, who he felt comfortable with in a way he didn’t feel comfortable with many people. Kissing him was nice. No looking for hidden agendas or trying to impress. Just soft and intimate. 

“I’m not sure cute is a term that should be used to describe two grown men,” Bruce replied, and Tony chuckled while reaching over to retrieve his drink. 

~*~*~*~

To his credit, it was almost three months before Tony actually slipped up and kissed Bruce in private. By then they’d had an actual serious row that had seen Bruce vanish in to thin air for a week and two genuine threats to what passed as world peace. He hadn’t been thinking, and he’d always been a little handy. It had just seemed normal when Bruce had turned his head like that for Tony to lean down and kiss him. 

They’d spent a few seconds sat there, surprised, then Bruce had resumed the conversation as if nothing had happened and Tony let him. 

~*~*~*~

Early on they had decided that the fewer people who actually knew what was going on, the better. Clint and Natasha knew, of course. And Pepper. But they’d made the decision to leave Fury and the rest of the avengers in the dark. It wasn’t that Tony didn’t like them or whatever, but the more people knew a secret the more chance their was of it coming out. 

Inevitably, a threat arose again that required assembling the entire team. That included Thor and Steve. It also included everyone temporarily moving to the helicarrier. The helicarrier where Tony and Bruce were assigned a double room.

They didn’t have much time to sleep, to be fair. The first night together was terrible, lots of tossing and turning. It got easier. By the time they got back to the privacy of Stark tower and separate beds Tony almost missed having Bruce beside him all night, making adorable snuffling noises in his sleep. 

~*~*~*~

“I have a plan,” Pepper said without preamble, dumping a file on their breakfasts. Tony picked it out of his eggs, glaring at her but, as always, Pepper seemed impervious to his glares. “I think we can pull this off now. The press is definitely moving on. I’ve not seen any major stories about you in weeks and the gay right people seem to have some new poster boys. So, here’s what’s going to happen. Bruce has to be the one to instigate the split, and it needs to not be Tony’s fault. A section of the press won’t believe him anyway but that’s how we’re going to spin it. We’ll have a press conference announcing a trail separation. Bruce will give them a “it’s not him, it’s me, not in a place for a relationship. There’s a script in the pack you can use as a template. We have the separation for a month or so, Bruce will move out of the tower, then you can get a divorce and everything will be normal again.” 

Tony would have sworn his heart skipped a beat if he didn’t know the arc reactor was too reliable for any of that nonsense. He hadn’t thought about it in months, the idea of splitting. The idea that for it to happen, Bruce would have to leave. 

He hadn’t thought about what it would be like. He did now. He thought about waking up and getting out of bed and Bruce not being here with a cup of coffee and a hug (and sometimes a kiss, if Tony was sleepy enough or brave enough). He’d go in to the lab and talk to Jarvis but as brilliant as Jarvis was, he wasn’t Bruce. Nobody he could throw ideas at and have new ones thrown back at the same rate, how had he ever survived? He’d have to go to those horrible corporate and charity functions alone again. Deal with all the idiots who wanted a piece of him without Bruce sat there in a corner like a port for him to return to. He’d have to fight without hulk again, and Bruce would have to get used to waking up in the rubble without Tony to pick him up. 

Tony was incredibly intelligent, but he could also be rather stupid. It had taken his almost dying for him to realize how important Pepper was to him. It took this, this horrible moment of realising what a future without Bruce would mean, to realise how important Bruce was to him. 

He didn’t want a divorce. He wanted this, only he didn’t want to feel guilty about the kisses in private. In fact, he would like to trade the kisses up for passionate sex. 

All of this in less then thirty seconds, about all the time it took Bruce to think too. 

“Fine,” he said, taking the folder from Tony’s hand. “I’ll do it.” 

~*~*~*~

Tony locked himself in his laboratory. Properly locked, with passwords and everything. He hadn’t done that in a long time. Normally he left it open so Bruce could wander in and out and see him as he saw fit. He couldn’t do that today, though. Couldn’t see Bruce and know Bruce had said he’d do it when Tony wanted very much not to do it. 

It was evening before he was ready to face the world again. He sought Bruce out in the kitchen. Seeing him was kind of the last thing Tony wanted to do but at the same time, he knew he had to. 

“Hey,”he said, coming in to the room. “I think I’m making real progress on the heating problem with the new armour.” That was a lie. He hadn’t made any progress. He’d sworn at the blueprints for a while and throw a few spanners against the wall but it wouldn’t do to have Bruce know that. 

“Good,” Bruce said. He looked uncomfortable, and for a vindictive second Tony wanted him to be uncomfortable. It was Bruce who was leaving, after all. Leaving him alone again. “Pepper and I went ahead and made some arrangements. She wants me to do the announcement tomorrow. Apparently there’s going to be something big happening with Tom Cruise so she thinks it might draw less attention. Is that fine?” 

“Sure, whatever you want,” Tony replied, and he was pretty darn proud of how much not screaming he was doing. He should win a medal for this performance. 

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked, standing. “You just...you just don’t seem right. This is what you want, isn’t it?” 

This could be the moment, Tony knew it. He had his cue. He just needed to say no, no it wasn’t what he wanted. What he wanted was for Bruce to come and have mind blowing sex then some pillow talk about the Higgs-Boson. He wanted to fly them off to the Large Hadron Collider for the honeymoon they never had, then to a beach somewhere private where Pepper wouldn’t find them with her home-wrecking ideas. 

But he knew it wasn’t fair. He wasn’t being fair to Pepper, who was only doing what he asked. Wasn’t being fair to Bruce, who probably wanted out of this pretty badly. He had a life, he didn’t need Tony around making a mess of it. 

“Sure, it’s what’s for the best,” he replied, and damn he was good. He almost even believed himself there. “I guess I’d better get some sleep if I’m going to be a single man tomorrow. Night, Bruce.” 

“Night, Tony,” Bruce said, standing and stepping closer as thought he was going to hug him. Hugs goodnight weren’t uncommon between them but not tonight. Not after all this. Tony slipped quickly out of the door. 

~*~*~*~

Tony watched the conference on TV when he finally dragged himself out of bed. Bruce was very convincing. He was also gone. 

~*~*~*~

The unfortunate thing about evil was that it didn’t stop for personal crises. Five days in to their separation, days which Tony had spent mostly lying on his bed or throwing things around his lab and cursing, aliens invaded New York. There were no time for briefings, which Tony was pretty glad of, just straight in to battle. With the hulk at his side, since he and Bruce were the only ones who lived here full time. 

Tony wasn’t an idiot, he did his best to avoid the giant green rage monster because, seriously, if he was Bruce’s giant green rage monster he’d be pissed at Tony too. Having to move out of your home because of something Tony did, and not even getting to keep your friend because Tony couldn’t be friends any more. 

They’d taken out a good eighty percent of the attacking force before there was nothing to do but get close to Hulk. It was that or crash in to a wall so he braced for turbulence and took his chance. 

The hulk stopped what it was doing, reached out and grabbed Tony’s leg, sending him crashing in to the nearest building, then went back to what it was doing. 

Tony pulled himself out of the remains of the wall, righted himself and prepared to fly off when the hulk threw one of the aliens at him. They were slightly bigger then him and he hadn’t exactly been expecting it so the effect was he was thrown back in to the wall with a giant alien insect thing on top of him and the hulk hollering “stay” in the background. 

The killed the alien, got to his feet and shot up before the hulk could hit him again. The hulk, though, apparently had no intention of letting him leave. With a roar it leapt after him, grabbing his leg again and bringing him down but this time instead of sending him in to the wall the hulk brought his free hand up to grip Tony’s chest and pulled. 

Tony had never been happier that me made the armour to come apart in an emergency of Hulk would have had his foot. As it was, he just threw the leg as hard as he could and set Tony down with a firm instruction to “stay”. 

Tony couldn’t argue with him at this point so took to picking the aliens of as best he could from the spot where he’d been left. Luckily by this point they’d almost completely won so it wasn’t long until the danger had passed. Of course, that brought an entire new danger. 

The hulk came up to him with a glare on it’s face, and Tony could only hold his hands up in surrender. It seemed to contemplate him a minute, then pulled him in to one of those bone crushing hugs again. 

“Mine,” the hulk said, and that’s when Tony got it. 

~*~*~*~

The chaos after was horrendous, especially since he had to retrieve his leg and direct the clean up from the hulk’s arms and the big guy was not letting go. When he finally transformed back Tony had to arrange transport instead of just lifting him up and carrying him. At least nobody argued with him when he insisted his husband be brought to his flat, even if they were separated. 

Bruce slept for five hours. Tony upgraded the toaster, paced a lot and tried not to get his hopes too high. 

“Tony?” A voice eventually called from the bedroom, and Tony allowed himself a little nervous spring in his step as he went to answer. Bruce was lying there looking groggy like he always did. Tony didn’t comment, just offered some water which was accepted. 

“So,” Tony said, flopping down on to the bed. “I had a bit of a talk with the other guy. And by a talk I mean he trashed my suit but never mind.” 

“I’m sorry,” Bruce said, looking resigned to his fate. Tony leant over and patted his shoulder. 

“Don’t be. It was enlightening. I’ve not really been being honest with you, you know. I thought I was doing the right thing by holding things back but I don’t think I am any more. So, this could be horribly embarrassing for both of us but I’m going to tell you the truth.” 

“Go on,” Bruce said with a gesture. Tony sighed. He’d been kind of hoping Bruce would jump in and share first. 

“Right. Thing is, I don’t want to get a divorce. I think it’s a stupid idea. Well, from my perspective anyway. Who else is going to appreciate you for your brain and your rage monster? I do. I appreciate all of you so clearly we should make mad passionate love and forget all about getting divorced.” 

Bruce blinked at him for a few seconds. Just lay there and blinked. In that kind of situation, a few seconds seems like a million years. Tony was on the verge of either babbling on in the hopes of distracting Bruce so he could run, kissing Bruce or committing ritual suicide when Bruce made his option for him and went for door number two. 

Kissing Bruce like this was entirely different from kissing Bruce before. Suddenly it wasn’t soft and familiar but hot and passionate and desperate and Tony let it consume him completely. 

Later Bruce would ask what the other guy had done and Tony would show him the tapes. Later he’d phone Pepper and tell her to ditch the divorce papers and she’d be so happy for him she’d cry. Later they’d take that honeymoon and not feel guilty about it. Late Bruce would say I love you and Tony would manage to say it back. 

For now, Tony pushed his husband back on the bed and set about consummating their marriage.


End file.
